Pillow

Scarlet lipstick and black liner leave their stain on the pillow of pain, that has seen the world through the eyes of its owner, the damp stained case trimmed with lace, soft comfort for salty teared face, pushed deep in, to muffle the cries, hugged tight in arms of trembling night. Holding the pillow to smother the sight of make up running like a zombie in a fight.

Yet that pillow no secrets it tells, no matter how much she swells, just hints at the turmoil within her head, where she lay down and her tears spread. Flowing locks on soft silent rock, absorber of the shock.

Curled in a ball on bed covers she sprawls unleashing the pain as tear drops fall. Absorbing the lies and the hate and the hurt, of men that just see her as a bit of skirt, the pillow stays loyal no matter how much she soils. Never runs from her in her hour of need never answers back or states it’s needs. Yet, her fears it surely reads, confidante of soft scented joy. She pummels and abuses but never destroys. The pillow of choice she laid her head on to go to sleep and get over that boy.

© All Rights Reserved Mark Symmonds 2017

 

Heaven

Angels floating on clouds, rescuing the dead from their shrouds leaving the bad to the Satan clan, angels take the sole of good men. They soar to the sky with the big wing span, a succession of souls from women children and men. Skyward, they fly through invisible sky to the utopia on high.

Then, the pearly gates emerge, their purity in the sun glistens and all the souls listen to hear the name of their loved one. Families reunited, spirits get excited, to see them again. Now they are all angels in a heaven so calm, where nothing is bad and no need to be alarmed.

Before Saint Peter, they are judged, all their life and every grudge. What have they done that is good? did they help someone when they could? Will he change his mind and chuck them out and send them down to eternal hell? can they think of a reason why he should?

Then, comes the judgement, the bad outweighed by the good and suddenly they’re in God’s neighbourhood. Will they see the great principal himself or will he be around, but cloaked in stealth? Who will they know? where can they go? can they just sit there and grow? For they have been chosen to sit with the spirits and watch the world as though they are in it.

© All Rights Reserved Mark Symmonds 2017

Your Choice

All alone, nowhere to call home, sofa surfing, nomadic loafer. Anger rises no surprises, hounded by your past, how long will it last? Used by all, scarred as you fall, free for all society maul. Making bad calls.

History shaped you; pounded you and raped you, brought you to your knees, just wanted to please, now life of sleaze that disagrees. Once again on your knees, not praying to a god. but, struggling so on you plod. No job, not the type to rob. Life taken and shaken, future forsaken. Life of drugs replaces the hugs. Anger smashes love crushing olive branches from a dove.

Advice not taken, path mistaken, lonely walk to who knows where, flitting from place to place as people care until you scare, then you are not welcome there. No money to hold your flat, selling this and that, surviving the only way, you know how, living in the here and now, no routes just any old how.

Take your chances on the streets, soon if not now. You can beat this turn it around pick your life up off the ground. Only you can live this life and only you can change your mind. Recognise when people are being kind and don’t upset with your constant whine. It’s up to you to put that life behind.

 ©All Rights Reserved Mark Symmonds 2017

 

Riddles In My Head

Lying in bed solving riddles in my head, replaying my inbuilt recording of everything that was said. The stillness of the night, no sound or light, every night it is the same ongoing fight. Bring me your light shining so bright, so I can see what I did right, to see the answers I need by the time the day is light.

 Hostage to history, to long lonely nights running flashbacks through my internal sight. Don’t let me go through another night, deciding what’s wrong and what’s right, contemplating whether I should stay or take flight.

 Hold me and shake me with all your might, stop my memories from inflicting blight. panic sets in as I close my eyes tight trying to cut out the thoughts of what might have been, stopping the tape of all I have seen. Erase me from the prison hell, that is taking place in this shell. My anxieties I need to quell, its 2 in the morning, your asleep and there is no one to tell, only me wrestling with Satan in this living hell.

© All rights reserved Mark Symmonds 2017

Past Midnight

Past midnight when noises are impolite and horror and doom loom in every sight. Past midnight when some are waiting for their plight, many will give up the long fight. Past midnight the darkest sight room lit atmospheric hit. Rolling clouds and tightening shrouds, owls and foxes shout aloud.

Shivers run down your spine, checking around to see what you can find, hoping you get back home just fine. Past midnight, the haunting time, when memories and thoughts combine, helping to pass the time. Clock flicks around in blurred glow, watching midnight come and go. Past the witching hour when ghosts and devils scour and the new darkness devours, lying awake listening to cracks and bumps until the small hours.

Heart races, imagined faces, mysterious places, longing to make it to morning, you try to stop yawning wishing the day was dawning. The shadows shrink and slowly nighttime sinks and devils and ghosts are a distant memory, to which you play host. Relief at the sun, night thief, darkness retracting its teeth to leave the joy of a new day to dance and jump and play. But, you know the darkness is all but finished and has only temporarily diminished, for tonight the darkness will return and in your mind, you will burn

 

 

The Fair

Flashing lights and music pumping in the night, it’s an unmistakable sight, the fun fair at night. Candy floss and toffee apples, sweets and treats of all kinds sit on the carts waiting to warm fair dwellers hearts. Helter-skelter, rubber slide, climb up the side then glide down with good grace, picking up a respectable pace.

 Bumper cars flash around the track, young man jumping on the back, from car to car he goes, spinning the wheels to young girls’ squeals. Waltzers spinning around and around up on a wave and straight back down, G force pulling your face out of place as the car picks up a pace, fairground staff spinning you all over the place. The rifle range with tin cans stacked, after your turn they are still intact, hook a duck so easy to do, guaranteed a prize no matter how you do.

 Burgers and chips, savory dips and cans of pop to wash on top, children’s eyes light up at the sight, day or night any time is right for the fair.

 

Whisper

Whisper in your ear, hoping you might hear, smelling your perfume as I enter the room, holding you close to make the most. Again, I whisper, I love you, in your ear, deep in sleep I hope you subconsciously hear.

Watching every breath you take and count the ones that are fake, watch your chest rise and fall, I so want you all. I watch you turn, squirm and wriggle, in a dream you let out a giggle. I put my arm over your shoulder and cuddle in tight, spooning in the middle of the night. 

I whisper again as I feel your silk skin, you just fart and pull a grin. I pull you further in, feeling the warmth of your body, intertwined body and mind. Creating heat from heads to our feet, drifting in and out of sleep. 

Meditation

 

 

yogaSitting in silence in the middle of the room, eyes are shut but colours come with a boom. Empty my mind of the daily grind but wonder what I will find. Music rifts drift seeping into my soul, rain drops trickle onto a metal bowl. my body has long since left it’s just me and my thoughts and my shallow breaths.

I let the nothing flow over into my head, no words are said, just images of the past. Rose garden with fountains and trees, where nothing moves fast. Victorian ladies wander with parasols like lost souls. I  drink from the fountain, water pure and cold, lit by the sun glistening and gold; this is an image I want to hold. My brain has escaped my body is cold, yet I feel safe and bold. It’s time to leave the garden via the gate, as I come down from my meditation state, paradise will have to wait

Slowly counting myself down, back in the room in the centre of town. Back to reality and all its gloom, settled mind, its back in the room. Light in the head, in a bit of a daze, the rose garden is now just a haze. Back to reality and life’s tangled maze

Election

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No MPs just candidates peddling their lies and messages of hate, now the election has a date when we all go to rate. Will they buy bombs, or give money to moms? Will they look after the old or just leave them out in the cold.

They all say their words but some are absurd, when they win they pretend we never heard. Promises made and then reneged, social class becomes a farce, when politicians get paid so vast. The gap is massive but we stay passive and let them rule the roost.

War on the world and war on the poor while they keep money sitting off shore. Money is their driving force not people of course, they would sooner you walk than have a car of course.

Low tax and no tax hacks, yet they charge us more to fund their wars. who is paying for this pain? the usual people they are all the same, they want to make you feel ashamed. what about people who moved to Spain, what have they got to gain? will they move home again as their money takes a drain.

Beyond Fatigue

Tired woman are sleeping

Body heavy mind light, sleeping anytime but not at night. Beyond the fatigue my body goes, no sleep will make it go, hard to move feel so low, where is my get up and go. When will this melee pass? I don’t know it’s becoming a farce laying here waiting for it to go

Beyond fatigue lives a place full of nothing. A place where the mind rests and colours stream in but timeless like on the edge of sleep but heavy in the limbs and longer to wait. I must try to move, to generate some energy to fire me up. It won’t come in bundles, just enough for me to stumble, to move around and lay down with this sensation washing down my body slowing me to a trundle.

A good night’s sleep won’t see it off as I nod off with half-finished mugs of tea and coffee relics of an afternoon nap why won’t my energy come back.